I recently discovered an old journal of mine. As I flipped through it, I found an entry from two years ago that brought back a lot of emotion. I had made a list of all the people and all the things in my life I needed to remember to pray for—it seemed there was so much adversity at that time that I literally had to sort it all out on paper.
As I reviewed this list, I realized how much has changed since then. Milo came into my life, I quit my full time teaching job, I received a medical diagnosis that shook my world, I passed through one of the most difficult trials of my existence, my husband started a new job, we moved…
Everything has changed, and yet nothing has changed.
Because I’m still praying for a lot of the same things (and those same loved ones) on that list from two years ago.
If you had told me then that many of those prayers would remain unanswered even now, I think I would have sobbed knowing how hard the years ahead might be. It would have been impossible for me to imagine then that some things could actually get worse.
And yet amid amid those thoughts, there was another. It just kind of occurred to me that I am so grateful for the trials that have brought me here.
I am so grateful for the way these trials and disappointments have shaped me, the way they have pointed me toward the only true source of healing, my Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ.
If it weren’t for the items listed in that journal (and every other hardship over which I have desperately prayed), would I really know Him?Would I feel, to my very core, that Christ knows and understands what it is like? Could I have experienced “peace which passeth all understanding” if my soul never yearned for it in the first place?
I have actually needed every trial I’ve ever faced. I have needed the growth, the understanding, the compassion I’ve developed for others and their own unique trials. Above all, I have needed to get to know the Savior in the way that I have.
And that is why I really am grateful for all the trials that brought me here.