To the Girl who Feels Small

Let me start by saying that this is not a fabricated pep talk.

This is truth. A truth that is crying out for some attention—for your attention.

It’s a truth so frequently taught in this Gospel that perhaps it does not pierce our hearts like it should, but it still remains a fact: You are a child of God.

Now before you close this tab with an eye roll and a not again mentality, hear me out.

I’m not just reiterating this glorious doctrine—though I’m a firm believer in repetition as a teaching mechanism. My number one objective here is to invite anyone out there who feels small, insignificant, or lonely in any way to really internalize that they are loved, noticed, and valued by the most powerful being in the universe.

In other words, this is a call to action.

It’s something I’ve been thinking about constantly since my baby left nursery last Sunday with the cutest paper crown. Printed across the top were the words, “I Am a Child of God.”

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He’s barely rounding the corner toward two years old, yet he wore that crown with confidence and dignity.

As I snapped a picture, I had to ask myself, Does he really know that he is a child of God?

I think he knows.

I hope he knows.

I was blessed with parents who wanted me to know. They successfully embedded in me that truth, and I wasn’t afraid to show the world that I was sure of myself. I stood on tables and karaoked, danced without inhibition at family parties, participated in the school talent show every year, and talked to anyone and everyone. I wasn’t afraid to try new things and I wasn’t afraid of failure because I think my innocent little mind always fell back on the fact that I was indeed a child of God. Nothing and no one could challenge that core identity.

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That confidence saw me through the first eleven years of my life and then…..

Middle school happened…..yeeeeeeeesh.

That head-strong little girl curled up inside. Perhaps because I became timid and insecure, I was somewhat of a target for preteen female bullies. I was the victim of mocking, false rumors, and pranks that went too far. I dreaded group work in class because no one ever asked to be my partner. Actually I just dreaded school in general.

Truthfully, I’ve never felt quite as small as I did back then.

But don’t worry. This is by no means a self-pity party you’ve been forced to attend. This is me simply highlighting one of the great ironies of my life:  I grew up to be a middle school teacher.

I chose this as a career path with the hope that maybe I could help my students recognize their worth during this vulnerable stage, especially those who might feel like I once did.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve never fully “outgrown” middle school. My sense of self-worth diminished at that time, and it has taken years to try and restore it. It doesn’t help that there is this continuous flow of things that can make us feel small.

We live in strange times where seemingly perfect images on our social media feeds can trigger our fragile emotions and wrack what confidence we do have. We’re constantly bombarded with reminders that we’re not beautiful enough, thin enough, stylish enough, wealthy enough, talented enough, popular enough, interesting enough, or even blessed enough.

There are just too many opportunities in a day for the world to try and convince us that we’re not enough. But like I said, this is a call to action, so when the world pushes at us, we have to push back.

We do that by believing God.

If you have yet to ask the God above how He feels about you, don’t put it off any longer. Find a quiet place to pray, kneel down, and ASK.

In a way 100% catered to you and your needs, He will communicate His love for you. Despite anything you’ve done or haven’t done, everything you hope to be but aren’t, He’ll make sure you know you are His child, that He loves you infinitely.

But what does that really mean?

It means that for every tear you’ve cried, God has cried infinitely more.

For every stab of pain, rejection, or betrayal you experience, God has felt that intensity, times infinity.

For every heartache that nearly breaks you, God felt the infinite amount—the ultimate amount.

How can you feel small when God loves you that big?

For most of us, the knowledge that He loves us is there. We just need to remember it and do something with it. We need to give this knowledge a steady heartbeat.

So I ask you this:

What would happen if you really internalized God’s love for you?

What could you overcome in a lifetime with that truth imbedded in your soul?

What could you accomplish in your day with that knowledge as your driving force?

What comparisons would you stop making?

What goals would you achieve?

What would you see when you looked in the mirror?

What feelings of inadequacy would cease to exist?

How would you spend your time?

Who in your life would you share this knowledge with?

How many times a day would you decline to criticize yourself?

What blessings would you ask for that you previously felt you didn’t deserve?

What self-deprecating thoughts would you ignore?

What battles with insecurity and self-worth would you win?

If I am to whole-heartedly believe and remember each and every day that I too am a child of God, what can that knowledge do for my life?

It can transform it.

So join with me. Place that figurative crown on your head, stand tall, and really internalize that you are a Child of God.

Because not only does this truth deserve to be heard, it deserves to be felt. By you, by me, by every girl who has ever felt small.

2 thoughts on “To the Girl who Feels Small

  1. Sue says:

    Jessica,
    I feel so blessed to call you family! I just love you. Such a beautiful soul inside and out and a good woman. I loved reading this and will look forward from now on to read anything you write. What a talent you have…
    Love,
    Aunt Sue (Brads Aunt…just in case…there’s so many of us on the Turner side.)

    Like

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